so you guys rememeber the situation i wrote about "you know what" back in late october - early november? well here's some info that i need to get outta my chest.
well, i've fucked up. since that day i truely messed it all up. what i said back then yes it came true and now im here witha shitty life ready to move on and attend college in the fall. basically what im trying to say is i probllably shouldnt have either begin talking about the situation in the first place because now more and more people are beginning to look at me in a "bad" way when all i said about it was my opinion and that it shouldn't have ever progressed from there. i know alot of people been reading my blog since since day one and have truely began to know me in a diffrent light, can really understand where im coming from. and to please,please,please. dont worry about me. yes, the truth hurts and i can't handle to the truth.. thats been my life ever since i started high school. i'll problaby forget about it all including highschool within the next three months. but my life has changed soo much even before the events occured that i just couldn't hide it anymore. to the people who are reading this and dont truely understand what im saying here, should really go back and read my posts starting at late october 2010 - feburary 2011 to get the buissiness.
other than here is a review of events that truely changed my life for the better:
- i attened community college for two months for photography
- applied for colleges in my state and for california.
got my permit
learned how to drive.
doing well in school, haven't truely failed a class yet
became more recluse and quiet
learned how to sew, boom chakachakachkaka!!!!!!!!!
things that im not proud off and that occured soo far:
didnt have a good birthday, for the tird time.
attempted to transfer schools, failed miserably kinda think of it i should ahve done something about it sooner
literrally toped posting actual photography on flickr. my free membership has been over and i still dont have the money to go pro and get back on the game :(
made friends with people who did care about me, but moved in december.
made connections with other people, didnt end well at all!
cried alot, family issues, etc.
nearly got my ass in trouble in situations, lost a few potential friends because of it.
became more of a ignorant bitch towards certain situations occurring in my life.
many people deleted me off of facebook because of my nonsence
lost more potential friends starting january.
made huge amounts of enemies this year.. holla!
"haters gonna hate" kind of shit started off again.
lost the most valuable trust i could ever achieve this year.. due to my actions.
didnt hang out with friends outside of school.
stopped talking to most of my former friends, who are now in other states.
stopped talking to my closest friendst recently, because shit went sour real quick.
became stress soo badly im now having sexual frustrations
now im at the most critical moment in life. im about to graduate and leave a city that damanged me to the core ever since i moved up here.
judging by all this writing, yes i am very pissed off. at myself, at life, at everyone else who has failed me in trying to fix up my atitute and help me to become a better person. soo... what should i do? lash out on my friends? apologize to everone for my actions? blast the shit on tumblr? c'on now give me a sign.
but here's a funny ass video that might calm me down and think about the good times i actually had in ths hellhole.
ill do a small fashion spam right now:
The journal S/S 11
Maciek Kobielski - Photographer
models.com
Vogue Japan July 2011
amazon.co.jp
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