hailey clauson tumblr

oops, I forgot today's mother's day :(

still feeling suck from being out yesterday( was out at the mall, sister needs a new pair of glasses!). It was pretty outside. But the pollen made things 100% worse. my allergies manifested itself into a fever. My head hurts, I feel extremely hot yet everything I touch is cold, but thank goodness I'm not sneezing like crazy soo my eyes aren't red and itchy anymore. I hope I don't stop breathing, like what happened back in 7th grade. Now I won't stop coughing and my throat is itchy.... this is why I have a love/ hate feeling for spring.

eww, I have wrinkles around my mouth, and my forehead. I hope they go away soon. Maybe it's because I'm sick, i allways get them out of nowhere and when I get sick I look old and pale. Wait, does that make any sense? I hope soo.

edit: ive finally realized something, my life is over! got 2 more weeks, and the week after that I graduate. Its weird, you've reached the tipping point. Adulthood has emerged, you're about to live on your own and go to an academia if your choice and become somebody. Four years of happiness, depression and utter loneliness is finally coming to an end. I'm no longer that optimistic, happy, inspired 15 year old girl. I'm now a young, hopeful, bipolar, 19 year old.. Who's life changed dramatically at 16. I lost everything but gained new interest. Learning more about myself and my surroundings, in a way I am afraid to officially come forth to adulthood. I don't have much life experience. Yet I've lived with soo much tragedy and sorrow that I dont know how to be happy and appreciate life. My happiness appears to be an optical illusion, like what I see appears to be an hallucination. I hallucinate ever single day, to the point I end up talking to myself wondering if I'll ever be okay. Maybe I am alright, something tells me im about to give up on myself and become something else in life.