CORPORATE AMERICA AT ITS FINEST

This is an after-thought to the post above. What I am going to actually miss are the most random gems that some people come up with. I'm really going to miss the people who use 100 fancy words to describe something when they could have used the three most basic words ever known to man. I'll really miss all the overly corporate animated hand gestures used to spice up a very boring conversation! (STEEPLE) These people made me smile on the inside. I am really going to miss "Quote of the day" and this makes me feel a bit sad.

To cheer me up, I went searching online and found some classic quotes from a "Dilbert Quotes" competition, where workers submitted some actual quotes from their managers. Here are some of the winning quotes:

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft in Redmond WA) 


"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)


"Email is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) 


"This project is so important - we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 


"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation) 


Quote from the boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 


"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Via Experience Project